I hate litter as much as the next blithering idiot, but I wouldn’t be foolish enough to charge a toddler £80!!!

A council in England charged a toddler £80 for dropping two crisps on the pavement (they were Quavers if you care!), when two-year-old Emily dropped them her grandmother picked up the bag, but kicked two stray crisps into the gutter - she was immediately pounced on by two litter wardens from Crawley council and given an £80 fine!

“We have apologised to the family for being overzealous and are happy to have cancelled the fine,” said the council.

Crawley Borough Council said it made no apology for targeting people making a mess of its streets.

“People have a responsibility not to drop litter,” said Councillor Beryl Mecrow.

“Littering annoys the vast majority of residents who use litter bins or take their rubbish home with them.”

ARRRGGHHH Phones on Flights!

Flights are crap, full of drunken stag and hen parties high on adrenaline on their way to a booze filled destination or high on something else flying home!

Now they’re going to allow these idiots to use their mobiles in the air - all for a rather large roaming charge - they were always going to take their cut weren’t they?!?!

Air rage is on the horizon for me and thousands of others!

Why is that half of my customers think that they are the only person in the world…… Just explain it to me! They’ve got hundreds of customers themselves - why is it so hard to get into their heads that we are the same!!!!!!?